we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
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