just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize