i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
apparently the secret to your success is patron
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
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