dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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