I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Randomize
