Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
