I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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