haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
i just had sex bonerless
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
