I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Randomize