I puked a lego.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
