I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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