It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
