can we get nightvision for the apartment?
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize