Walk of Shame. In a state park.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
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