Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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