Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
