So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
