Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
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