Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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