The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
