Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
