so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
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