uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I will pee on everything he values.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
