I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
this will be a night to untag.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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