I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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