also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
