We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
