Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Randomize
