Just fell off a train. Bad.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Randomize
