Where is the hickey?
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Randomize
