a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
