The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
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