What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
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