my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Randomize
