i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
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