you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
why do cheetos always look like penises
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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