And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Randomize
