she was so not down for the gang bang
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
