a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
