After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
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