I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize