i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Randomize