the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
he was CRYING into my vagina
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
