Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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