i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Randomize
