The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
