I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Randomize
