and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Randomize
