doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Randomize
