He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
