I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
