Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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