how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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