just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
