actually, I'm a sock model
Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
