Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
