Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
