thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
