I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
